dachsie_mom's Friends

Is there a method of birth control that doesn’t RUIN SEX?

I’ve been on the pill before, even the one with the lowest dose of hormones, and it still gives me chest pains, mood swings, and an overall hellish feeling. Condoms make it feel like I’m fucking a plastic bag—a total turn-off! I’m not able to use an IUD—it just doesn’t fit. I’ve tried the sponge, but it seriously keeps me from feeling anything, and I assume the diaphragm would be the same way. I’ve attempted to use the fertility awareness method—but it’s damn scary! I realized I’m NOT at all regular, and so it’s a very risky method to be using. We’ve used withdrawal plenty of times, though it makes me sad. I *wish* I could handle hormones, but I’m far too sensitive. My BF doesn’t want a vasectomy—which I feel would be the BEST option. So looks like I need to get sterilized? Meh, what a pain in the ass. That I cannot currently afford. Birth control is still in the dark ages!! So many depressing side-effects. :(

Any suggestions??

Current Mood: cynical

Balloon-boy nonesense
Remember the balloon-boy hoax? That stupid set of parents that got their kid to lie and hide, and they told everyone he was in the balloon and the police launched some huge rescue effort, etc etc etc..

Well, I just noticed that the parents got sentenced finally to weird amounts of jail time (<- link there, quote here ->), but other than that:

District Judge Stephen Schapanski said Heene will spend 30 days in jail, followed by 60 days work release that will allow him to pursue work as a construction contractor while he is serving his time.

The Colorado father will not start his sentence until next month so that he can spend Christmas with his children and wrap up his affairs.

Pop quiz: If they didn't have a kid, and they had pretended it was the family pet or his wife or something that ended up in the balloon... do you think they would have been allowed to spend Christmas together as a family, just the two of them or with their parents or what have you, BEFORE going to jail?

I thought jail was supposed to be inconvenient. Ya know, you do something bad, and the law punishes you.. it doesn't wait around for you to unwrap presents with your kids and call your boss to let him know you won't be in next month? "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you have kids, obviously we'll delay your JAIL TIME."

Heaven forbid we scar the children... cause ya know, when their care-givers have to explain to them where mommy and daddy are for the next month after Christmas, that's not gonna confuse them or scar them at all, since they will have gotten to open Christmas presents with them the month prior. That'll fix it.

Edit: ... apparently this is common though? Lesser sentences of a non-flight-risk nature can schedule their jail time (to a point)?

Ugh. Seriously, go to jail. Kids or not, plans or not, life or not... it's JAIL, you did something wrong, Go directly to it.

Anyway, I know that's a stretch for relevance to the child-free community, but it did pop into my head. Also, just the general stupidity of some parents once again rears its ugly head. "Yeah let's use our kid to get attention! WOO!" -- ugh.

Childfree flying
Normally I love Easyjet. Their free-seating policy means that as long as I wait until most of the passengers have boarded, I can usually nab myself a seat nowhere near any kids. On Monday it backfired on me - I had a nice window seat 2 rows from the back, the nearest small child was 10 rows in front of me and then two under 3s sat down behind me and screamed through the WHOLE 90-minute flight :o(

Other half and I are saving for the holiday of a lifetime in 2011. We're going to Mauritius, which is a 12 hour flight from the UK and I'm seriously considering paying the £500+ upgrade per person per leg of the flight to fly in Virgin Upper Class instead of Economy just to avoid the possibility of 12 hours of screaming kid. Has anyone flown Virgin UC and has anyone ever seen small children in it??

Also, if anyone's been to Mauritius and can recommend a hotel that's catered more for adults, I'd appreciate it. As far as I'm aware, there aren't any adult only resorts on the island. I've heard good things about Paul et Virginie.

Wish someone would start up a CF airline, I'd happily pay double fares for the peace and quiet!

Wow. Is this place dead or what?

Current Mood: lonely
Current Music: Rihanna - Cold Case Love | Powered by Last.fm

Yesterday I had my human biology final. The class is well known to be very difficult and large number of students drop out early and even after that most people left fail the class (most of those who pass are ones that have taken it before but had to redo it). I was studying with some of my classmates one of which has found out she's two months pregnant. After a while this conversation happened.

Classmate 1: I'm going have a talk with the professor after the exam.
Me: Why?
Classmate 1: I know I'm pretty much screwed here. I have been falling asleep in class and unable to focus and now I know why. I'm wondering if I she would sympathize with me and not fail me. I mean I was pregnant for two months during class.
Me: I don't know about that.
Classmate 2: Of course she would she's a woman after all.

Stay-at-home-non-mom?

Is anyone here a homemaker/housewife? Or anyone have the desire to be?

I’ve come to the strange realization that although I definitely don’t want children, I would like to be a (part-time) housewife. I don’t know what it is, but being a career girl isn’t my cup of tea. I’m not a competitive person, I don’t care about money. I like the idea of caring for a husband and a home. I’m such a silly throw-back, I know! How anti-progressive of me. But we all have different paths to walk. :)

War is for da chyldrun.
So, I was complaining about nothing being on TV. I currently live with my grandpa because I'm currently unemployed, but that's likely to change come January. Well, anyway, yeah, watching TV (Paranormal State, the only other thing on being Wife Swap). Papa asks why I'm watching this, I say it's the only thing on. He then complains I should watch the news so he can see "how much more I'll be paying in taxes for their programs."

I then fire back, "Funny, didn't hear you complain about paying so much in taxes for a war."
"That's necessary."
"How do ya figure that?"
"Taliban."
"Yeah, Papa, if we couldn't find them good before, do you think we'll find them now."
"We have to. They want to kill us."
"Uh-huh..."
"We have to do it for the children."

...What?

WHAT?

Papa, you know I'm childfree and that I DON'T LIKE CHILDREN. I will chalk this up to you being tired and bitter and so antisocialist it hurts. I mean, after all, you believed that shit that Obama wasn't a citizen until I showed you all the goddamn proof against THAT.

Another goodie!
Some people are just TOO obsessed with pregnancy. I'm on an avatar site where people often suggest the ability to make the avatars look pregnant/have babies, and this is the idea one person posted.

"We should have pregnant avatars. For those who wanna have pixel children and are pregnant for real, we should have pregnant avatars.
We could have an NPC for a store.
We can also put how much months until birth. The limit will be 9 months.
In the store, we can also buy items for the baby.
The cheap baby items could be...
Starter items. Every month, the baby will upgrade 1 month older.
The baby can appear by your avatar. You can click the baby to take care of it.
In the "Baby Inventory", You could view your baby, and change it's clothes,
change it's diaper (At least you don't smell it's pixel poop, right?) feed it,
etc. We can have up to 10 kids. When the child is 25 years of age, we will let it get married to some other person's child. Our children can also send us "Child-Mail" to our cellphone while we are gone. During a week of a Holiday, our children can visit us...even on our b-days.

Well... hope you like the idea! It took me forever to type this. Really! BTW...
here is a few noms.
Nomnomnomnomnom"

No, I have no idea what the "nomnom" thing at the end is all about, though it helps show the maturity level of the user. Seriously, if you want that shit just have a real kid. See how much fun having babies is when it's actual work. I just hope to hell this person isn't pregnant in the real world because if so her kid is going to suffer horribly.

"He looks just like his daddy!"
So, a co-worker of mine is pregnant with her second child. I don't see her much as we're in different departments, so I don't know how rabid she's getting over the pregnancy. However a couple days ago in the breakroom she was showing off her sonogram images. It's the newer type that are 3D-ish and brown and show details better. Apparently the child, who's not even BORN yet, is just like it's daddy. She and the girls looking at the images were talking about how the baby *I'm unsure if it's male or female, as I just don't care XD* looks just like the father. "I think it's his nose, he has So-and-So's nose." And there were also comments of "So-and-So lays down just like that all the time. He's relaxing just like his daddy does!" Yeah, I'm sorry but your fetus is not relaxing just like Dad. Fetus does not have room to stretch out and get comfy in there. Please stop making yourself sound stupid, because I know you're generally smarter than that.

Guinea pig adoption update
You all may remember my posting about a coworker wanting to give me her family's guinea pigs. Well I saw them last Thursday and I am taking them.
The cage the piggies are in is too small and needed cleaned badly but other than that my reason for taking them is the way her youngest behaves around the animals.

The older one is okay. Seems like a nice little boy actually. We had to pick him up at his after school care and he asked if he could hold my hand on the way home and was very polite. The younger, who the grandparents picked up once his school was out, was the one made me want to pull my hair out and I was only in their apartment 10 minutes. He kept trying to pick their youngest cat up by the cats front paws and its tail. This was the litter mate to the one he strangled to death (mentioned in a previous post). The cat would bite him to try to make him let go and the kid would just laugh. Can we say "psychopath"? I knew you could. The guinea pigs were calm when I held them until he ran in and then they tried to run for their lives. The older cat was very sweet. He gave me tons of kitty kisses and I think he was asking me to rescue him instead of the piggies.

Anyway I am still not sure if I am suitable guinea pig owner material but I am excited about them moving in on the 10th of January. I just hope she doesnt get her kids anymore pets and manages to teach them how to handle the ones they do.

Ranting...
Someone, who frankly should fucking know better, came out with me today that old tired cliche of "if you don't want children, you shouldn't have sex!". This being a woman who was previously my friend, pro-choice and cool, who then discovered she had fertility problems and became mega hardcore dipshit fuckwad anti-choice. Basically since she might not be able to have kids, nobody else should ever be allowed to abort them.

So I've just lost a friend in other words. There is no way I can even stay civil to someone who comes out with stupid shit like that, it's a deal breaker for me - become pro-life? get the fuck out of my life. Especially since she KNOWS I've had an abortion in the past and I'm totally fine with it and how committed I am to remaining childfree it bloody hurts to have someone supportive turn against you so suddenly.

Yeah fine, you have fertility problems. I could have remained a sympathetic friend but the instant you start spouting bigoted shit about my life, about how dare I get an abortion, how dare I have non-procreative sex, how dare I get married without the intent to spawn sprogs then that's it. Friendship over. Go fuck yourself.

Is this the age of obnoxious brats?
I'm one of those people who overhears someone saying something offensive to me, and either retorts loudly and regrets it, or bites her tongue and regrets it.

So, when I was sitting in front of a young teenager at the pantomime the other night, and was chatting to her mother who was sitting next to me. Also, the girl was immaculately dressed in a smart red coat and blonde hair and generally looked like the kind of girl who wanted for nothing. Shame about the snobbish expression on her face....

Nonetheless I thought initially "How nice...she must be a really mature girl for her mother to let her sit on her own".

Hahahahah. No.

Her younger brother and her were yacking throughout the whole thing and the mother did NOTHING to reprimand them. I thought of doing so myself but I convinced myself they'd settle down after the interval. Nope....too good to be true of course.

The theatre we were in has a habit of selling flashing wands and stuff to kids to wave around in the panto. They used to be controlled by ushers telling them when it was appropriate to turn the wands on - quite impressively effective too! Nowadays none of the ushers can be bothered to explain this. So the girl and her brother insisted on laughing loudly and waving the stupid wand around throughout the whole second half.

I should have said something I know I should, but the mother had been so friendly and nice that a large part of me didn't want to reprimand her kids, because in doing so I'd obviously be insinuating she was a terrible mother and thus an awful person. Sigh.

The worst though was at the end of the show and the girl-brat turns around and says in a self-satisfied, pretentious voice "Call me critical, but I think that pantomime could have been a LOT better!".

I swear, I have never wanted to roar at someone more in my life. What made it 100x worse though was that one of my friends was in the main cast, and he's a fantastic actor, and I was about to say "Excuse me?! You want to say that again? Have a little respect for the people up there that have worked so damn hard this evening to entertain your spoilt, pampered ungrateful ass!!!" But...I didn't. I'd got as far as glaring at her and opening my mouth....the words on the tip of my tongue...but then I think the mother saw how murderously I was looking at her pwecious babaay and quickly said goodbye and chivvied her away.

I have never felt so angry with myself in my life for not sticking up for my friend when I'd had the chance- especially against such a foul, conceited child as she was.

Current Mood: melancholy

Goddess, Please Shoot Me!
School's out for Christmas and the co-worker can't afford child care so she brought her 7 year old boy to work. Her sniffly, smelly, won't sit still brat. I want to go home :(

Current Mood: aggravated
Current Music: Misery, MINE!

A bit of happiness?
So, me and my grandpa went to a Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert tonight. It was the afternoon one, so there were people bringing their spawns GALORE. However, what I expected to turn into a wailing match of little kids at all of the loud music, bright, flashing lights and pyrotechnics... ...Turned out fine. I was never bothered once by any of the numerous spawn. In fact, I had more problems with the assholes in front of me who kept getting up and down for no reason other than they kept forgetting some food or drink item.

So, hooray for no breeders and their entitled spawn! If I could drink, I'd raise a toast to people actually using their brains tonight.

...Then there was dinner, during which a guy at the next table was asked to leave as he'd been there, apparently, well over two hours. And they were needing seats--because there were lots of people waiting still. He had his wife and spawn with him, and he said he'd leave in a minute--politely, except for that condescending look of, "Why should /I/ have to leave?"

...And then, when the poor server left, the guy turns to his wife and says--and I kid you not--"Why are they kicking us out? We have a kid."

And as if that's not enough--a few minutes later, he adds: "Society should be easier on parents with small children."

...Really? REALLY? YOU can get health insurance so long as your kid is young enough. YOU get tax breaks for your spawn. YOU get special treatment because of that supah-speshul-awsum-baybeeeee you have.

No. Society DOESN'T need to be easier on parents with small children. I hope you choke on your pizza.

"It sounds like a Chinese idea to me..."
Today while I was listening to talkback local radio while cooking, the issue of climate change was discussed.

One of the ideas mentioned for combating climate change was, of course, the idea of controlling or limiting population in order to reduce carbon emissions.

A caller rang in on this topic. While I don't remember his exact wording for the most part, his "thoughts" on the matter was basically this:

If anybody is disallowed from having a (or another) child in the name of combating climate change, nobody should be allowed to have a pet. He mentioned that "There's an entire aisle in the supermarket for pets, where do all these people come from?". He also said, re. limiting the amount of children per family, "It sounds like a Chinese idea to me.". Live. On local radio.

Ignorant and disturbingly brazen racism aside, the pets thing got me thinking. Yes, his "supermarket aisle" comment was stupid - the local supermarket has about 15 aisles, as well as the meat section, the deli, the bakery, and the produce section. ONE of those aisles is for pets, the rest of them are for people - but in terms of carbon footprints, how big is a pet's, compared to a child's? I'm going to say negligible, as pets rarely need to be driven anywhere, barely use paper or cause it to be used, mostly don't require clothing to be manufactured (horse blankets, pet sweaters assumed negligible vs. your average person's wardrobe), and, because your average pet is either a fair bit smaller than a human or eats grass (or both), the resource cost of food manufacture is probably a lot lower too.

Since a lot of childfree people here seem to have, want, or like animals, I thought I'd put this guy's "solution" to you: If you want them to stop killing the planet with too many spawn, they demand your pets as a sacrifice.
( Just one other quick thing )

Women get thrown under the bus. Again.
Obama has officially pissed me off. Observe:

New health bill poised to further stab women in the back by restricting insurance coverage on abortions

States would be permitted to ban insurance coverage of abortions in policies sold in the exchange, except in cases of rape, incest or when the life of the mother is in jeopardy. In states where such coverage is permitted, consumers must notify their insurance company they want it, and pay for it separately.

Which of course pretty much defeats the whole purpose of having insurance entirely. And of course everyone knows that all women everywhere are just loaded with gobs of money that we save especially for our abortion parties. /sarcasm

Goddamn you, Ben Nelson. Goddamn you and all the other two-faced worthless shitbags that steamrolled this crap into the bill.

A relevant comic strip for ye
I'm sure we all know somebody like the woman in the first few panels of this comic...
http://girlyyy.com/go/147

Amusing comic
My boyfriend just sent this to me, and I figured you guys would appreciate it as well. It always aggravates us when mature video games are blamed for all the violent children, when it's their ignorant parents' faults.

http://dipswitchcomics.com/150

Holiday Horror Stories Anyone?
Anyone have any good holiday horror stories? I'll start off. I went to the mall today, I should've known better, but I needed to kill some time. Duh is there with his 2 spawn. The little girl is being relatively good. The boy though....He was running around and at a few points, duh has to leave the stroller unnattended so he could go catch the little boy. Now, they were in a little circular area with chairs...There is also a playground in the mall!!!! I swear, I'm opening a mall with a MANDATORY daycare at the door so us CFers can shop without screaming spawn or tripping over them. So, anyone else have any holiday horror stories? Doesn't necessaily have to be out at the mall, it can be within your own family.

Current Mood: annoyed

Let's start a culture!
Today's Non Sequitur comic. Perfect!
( clicky! )
(Hm, I previewed it and it seems kinda small. Click on the comic if you can't read it. It's just sitting in my scrapbook, so you won't be redirected to anyplace outside of LJ.)

Earlier today, I was hanging out with a friend and had a great talk about being CF with her. I've only known her for two months, but it was good to hang out and discuss our reasons for being childfree, and it left me feeling good.

(Randomly Placed ETA: I also went to the movies with this friend, and what got me thinking about the CF thing with her was that there was a trailer for a Jackie Chan family movie. Jackie Chan has betrayed me. )= Why do ALL ACTION STARS feel like they need to do a family movie? Is the demographic of parents and young children really worth sacrificing your dignity, Jackie? /end RPETA)

Then I went to work and one of my co-workers got a hold of one of her friend's babies and brought him into the deli. I didn't know how to react to the kid. She was cooing over it and saying, "How could you say no to this face?!?!" I just stared at him. And he stared back at me, cross-eyed and not responding to anything. lol I'm so awkward around kids.

Anyway, I was wondering, is there any specific moment in your life that stands out as being the reason you're childfree? Or is there a specific moment in which you can remember suddenly realizing that you don't have to have kids? I know the second seems kind of silly, but for a lot of us (or maybe it's just me), it always seemed like a kind of inevitability that we were, some day, going to get that urge to have a kid and start that family.

For me, the realization suddenly came to me when I was 15. I was at a school assembly with my then best friend, and somehow the topic of kids came up. I said something about not wanting a kid or not wanting one until later in life, I can't remember my exact wording. What I do remember is her reaction. She looked at me shocked and said, "You mean you aren't excited to have a little baby in your belly, have a cute little bump and be a mommy?"

The thought honestly made me shudder. Everything that she said sounded hideous to me. I had thought that I would get the maternal urge at some point in my life, but my friends were already dying to have kids, or at least planning on it for the future, while I had no urge. I actually hated the thought, and no matter how easy my mom says her pregnancies and births were, I'm such a wuss about pain that I immediately go HELL. NO.

So, what about you guys? Did you have "AHA!" moments like that?

This is my biggest pet peeve:

Person: Why don't you have any kids?
Me: I don't want them.
Person: It's just because you haven't found the right guy yet!

Ummm... I'm engaged to the absolute love of my life, and I don't even want kids with him! I hate people who think that someone will automatically want kids just because they've found a good guy.

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